Before Coffee
by 7Knight-Wolf
Summary: Beware, I tell you a tale of a fierce woman, a terror to all creatures...Captain Amelia before coffee! #7 of the Big Ten Disney Oneshot Challenge. K for some mild british "sailor tongue."


**Before Coffee**

Amelia smelled the strong Columbian brew long before she slammed her flying car in to parking space, bruising both the curb and the vehicle.

"Blasted bit of balderdash," she hissed, the futuristic car with the full force of her space-sailor's boots.

She whirled around and began striding toward the spaceport's coffee shop, breathing in the strong scent of her coffee and donuts and cursing it for tormenting her sense. Lack of caffeine made her head ache, pounding and pounding no matter how Amelia increased her stride.

At last the space Captain kicked open the door of café, and without pausing to note the quiet familiarity of the coffee house—the rust-brown walls, clean tables, and low jazz mixed with the tantalizing scent of fresh patsries—she demanded of the cahsier,

"Give me a blinking spot of Columbian, blighter, and be quick about it!"

The creature behind the counter, a green flabby fish of a thing, stared at Amelia in surprise. But realizing that the trim Captain before her was quite dangerous and wuite bad-tempered, she obeyed at once.

"Anything special?" the clerk asked. "sugar, flavor, cream?"

"Black," said Amelia. "Black as a hellsgates!"

Without further ado, the feline dashed into the nearest chair and sat crouched there bristling like a porcupine and rubbing sleep from her eyes. She looked rather more like a zombie than like a space Captain.

"Hurry it up back, there!" she caterwauled. "I haven't got all day! Oh, what a blasted horrible morning."

Just then, Mr. Arrow came in, looking quite the gentleman in his new red coat. Assigned to meet Amelia here, he at once pulled out the chair opposite hers.

"Good Lord, man, what the Devil are you doing? Stealing a chair from my table, are you? Why, I'll—"

Amelia halted her wrathful outburst as soon as she recognized her shipmate. "Well, by the Super Nova, Arrow, I did not expect you."

"Did you not, Captain?" asked Arrow rather timidly. "You told me to meet you here. We agreed."

"Great Scott! So we did! I do beg your pardon, Arrow. These dem drums in my head won't stop beating long enough for me to remember my own name."

Drums, Captain?"

Amelia tapped her skull. "Comes of going too long without a bally spot of coffee! Will you hurry up, you dawdling devils?" she yelled at the employees. "Now, Arrow, what were we to discuss on this hellish day?"

"The crew, Captain," answered the gentleman. "The new one, hired by that doctor to man the _Legacy_."

"Oh, that crew! Ha! A useless parcel of driveling galloots!"

"Black Columbian," called the flustered clerk suddenly.

Instantly Amelia bounced out of her chair and pounced on the coffee as if it were precious gold. Taking a deep, deep breath, she inhaled its aroma. Arrow stared wide-eyed as the woman's claws flexed and something like a purr reverberated through her body. She sipped the drink and her appearance was transformed. Gone was the zombiness—she looked awake, alive, beautiful, and noble.

"Oh, great Jubilee," she whispered. "Heaven on earth! My coffee is here and the sun is shining! It is a marvelous day."

Mr. Arrow gaped. Then he recovered himself and laughed. "Captain, you are most amusing."

"Quite so," she smiled. "Let us go to the Legacy, my friend!"

But in her excessive good mood and eagerness for action, Amelia moved too quickly and her elbow hit the coffee cup. Black liquid flooded the table. There was a grim slience.

It seemed that outside, the sun darkened. Thunder rumbled. Amelia's face became black with absolute and inexpressible fury. Her claws dung into the table, her fangs were bared, and her hair stood on end—she was about to explode.

Desperate to save himself and the coffee shop from Amelia's wrath, Mr. Arrow heroically intervened. "Don't lose heart, my Captain!" he cried. "Take my coffee! I beg of you."

Then suddenly, the storm subsided. The clouds moved on. Amelia's savage claws closed around Arrow's coffee cup. She sniffed. She sipped. She was happy.

Arrow wiped sweat of his brow. "We're safe," he sighed.

"And it is a gorgeous day," said Amelia with a smile.

The two walked out arm in arm, safe in the knowledge that as long as coffee was to be had, the Universe would be speared the fearsome wrath of Captain Amelia.

The End


End file.
